Today marks a single day in 20 years of significant events.   The trip to Italy Scott and I planned for many years to happen on this day will be spent in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania instead.   This is not a bad thing; this is actually a day of significance.    Some years ago we started planning for our 20 year anniversary celebration.   We were disciplined (well Scott was) to put money aside every month to pay for the 3 week excursion visiting and exploring parts of Italy and having dinner with the Pope.   We had to cancel the dinner with the Pope.    


Our plan to explore Italy was more impactful because it didn’t happen than if it were to have taken place.   I am excited to write about it.   Scott and I obviously aren’t great at predicting the future.   In our mind we had this all planned, paid for, and were encouraging others to join us.  This was going to be a party.    On December 23, 2013 I was told I was no longer needed at my job.   Really?   I am sure I was needed….I thought they made a mistake and would call me later that night and tell me they made a mistake.   Well that didn’t go as planned either; we were now in a position to realize we had to fight or flight.   I did both.   I fought depression and was on many flights to the land of I am useless.    This is not a pity party for me to recount, but it is a story of significance.   Our 2014 year was weird.  We were trying to figure out what to do.   We had so many questions.   I lost all ability to make decisions.   Oh yeah, I remember standing in a store struggling with making a decision on a $20 household item.   We needed it, but I wasted 30 minutes of my life having a conversation with myself of whether or not we could do without it.   Decisions were tough.  


There was one decision that we both agreed on and that was to make the best of it and continue pressing onward.   Our Story was changing daily.  We were getting writer’s cramp trying to create a storyline that would work.   We went on interviews for various jobs, we scaled back on eating out, we were required to be financially disciplined in a different way.   I found out that I still was good at selling, I started listing things in our house for sale that I deemed unnecessary.   At one point during this process of survival, Scott asked me not to sell certain things – it was like he went around our house putting post it notes on things that were not for sale.   The dog was a little scared she might be next.  This was not about the money.  I realized it was about me feeling significant, and my need to know I still had gifts.   I got such a high when I sold the old antique magazine rack that we bought many years ago from a church we never found use for.   I sold lots of things for my own need.   Silly huh?   We had money saved… we didn’t miss a meal, we never were late on a payment.  We were blessed.   After 5 months of unemployment I took a job doing what I was doing for the last 20+ years.    I figured I needed to go do something because our house was starting to look bare (just kidding).   The job for me was ok.   I was working for a company in Ohio and for the first time I was expected to work out of my home.   This was another weird thing.   I was used to being around people and making decisions with others and being caught up in the corporate surroundings of chaos.  

After about 2 months I realized this job was not going to do it.   Scott knew me best (it is 20 years need I remind you).  He challenged me to do something that scared the living daylights out of me.   He said all these positive things and then said… we need to just do it.    He was talking about us starting the business that was in the works for many years.   The business he was talking about was something that at one point several investors were behind and were putting up the capital needed as well as paying 4 employees including myself.   That was risky then to make it happen, but not nearly as risky as his suggestion of doing it now with no investors and no salary for us.   That is when he said… We have money we can live off of while this gets launched.   We can live on the Italy fund that we were going to use for our 20th anniversary trip.   I was sad.   I longed for Italy.   I wanted to experience the Vatican and the pasta.   The real truth was I was scared of failing.  


We are now over 1 year into our own business of FTBA (www.FTBAteam.com).   We have had some amazing things happen in this year.   We have had the opportunity to work with great people and have had a year of significant growth.   During this time Scott and I have found peace in trusting God with our future.   It is amazing to me that some 5 years ago he put Scott and I on the same page to put money aside for something bigger than Italy.  Something more amazing than having dinner with the Pope.  God used this event to teach us to trust him with all our heart.   He has this.    We joke that we have been living in Italy every day since the start of our company.  
So on this September 16, 2015, we are taking the day to go do things like we were in Italy.   Started our day with devotions, heading to Pittsburgh for Lunch at a Italian restaurant, stopping at some Italian shops in downtown.  We may even stop at a winery and have a drink.  

2 Comments