My out of bed BG was 254 today. A reminder of a weekend that is still part of the learning curve.
Saturday morning was abnormally early because I had scheduled a job with someone who was trying to get it crammed in for a deadline. It wasn’t a big deal. But it threw off some of my sleep. I’m trying to develop some rhythms for my days. I think it’ll help with some of the discipline if it can just be normal daily rhythms for how my day functions. Exceptions will come, but if they come too often they’ll break any chance of the routine.
I made some eggs before placing my call which I knew I’d be on for hours without a break. Breakfast was covered. I opted for a carb-light lunch of baked fish to conserve carbs for the evening’s outing — a fancy dinner at a fundraiser for a local charity.
The evening was fun with a table full of friends as we talked, laughed, and witnessed a room full of people give for a great cause. Appetizers were being walked around on trays during the cocktail hour. I passed on most of them. Dinner was a piece of steak, a piece of fish, mashed potatoes, and a few pieces of asparagus and carrots. It was all pretty good. I let the mashed potatoes be, choosing instead to eat a couple of dinner rolls. Dessert was a layered mixture of chocolate, cream, peanut butter, and a cake bottom. I ate about half of it and stopped. I’m not a foodie trying to offer a review of a day’s menu. I tell you all of this for this reason. I knew I was making choices that were going to work against my goals, but I felt justified telling myself that it was a special night.
The reality is that when I’m justifying my decisions in those moments, I’m just deceiving myself. Well, I guess the truth is that I’m not really deceiving myself. I know exactly the lie that I’m telling to myself, and I’m listening to it and choosing to follow it anyway. There’s no deception involved. It’s a choice to follow the wrong path. The choice for satisfaction and gratification over the harder, better path.
It seems like we all go about this in our own way. We practice this self-deception in so many topics and issues in our lives. Except to call it that only gives us a way to avoid responsibility for the decision. We know the lie when we tell it ourselves. Whether it’s in the area of finances, diet, exercise, attitude, or any other of an endless list of choices, even if we make the choice reluctantly, we make the choice willingly. Responsibility can’t be avoided.
The other thing that could have contributed to my high BG this morning is that I had a couple of zero-calorie, zero-carb drinks last night. They were a couple of those vitamin water drinks that use Sucralose instead of sugar to add flavor and sweetness. I was told by the educator I talked to at the doctor’s office to only count carbs. If it said there weren’t any carbs then it was OK. I did a search on the internet and found an article (http://www.prevention.com/health/diabetes/splenda-sweet-blood-sugar) that indicated that ingesting Sucralose can cause a rise in BG levels. Not all that crazy when you consider that fake, substitute food is usually worse for you than the real stuff that it’s trying to replace, but come on, what’s left? I’ve been a big water drinker for a long time now, but even I need something else to drink every now and again. Of course, there will be probably be another report that says it’s fine. Most articles I’ve seen say it’s fine. Sometimes it’s a matter of just picking a side and choosing to believe that perspective. Until further notice, I’m going to choose to side with the Sucralose is fine camp.
I’m going to schedule an appointment with the Diabetes educator tomorrow. I cancelled the one I had lined up previously. I’ll tell you about that another day. You won’t believe what happened with that.